Friday, 11 April 2014

Jazztel, their special offers & why they really shouldn't phone me

So, for a while now, Jazztel (my Internet service provider) has been sending me loads of text messages, trying to get me to change my mobile provider over to them.

I'm old-school... I have a mobile phone mainly for banking purposes (the bank sends me pin numbers to confirm my transactions) and I sometimes remember to take it out with me, just in case of emergencies.  More often than not, however, I tend to leave the damn thing at home. 

Anyhow, Jazztel has been hotting up their "special offer" and trying to contact me on the landline.  Up until now, I managed to cut them short by telling them I don't understand what they are saying (the advantage of being a foreigner), even though I knew exactly what they wanted... but tonight they caught up with me. 

The landline rang, but I got that awful holding-on music and immediately hung up.  Then, yeah, you guessed it, the mobile rang.  It was 9:45 at night and I'm pretty darn certain there is some kind of law that says they can't phone that late. Anyway, this guy spoke excellent English, so I had no excuse but to talk to him. LOL.   And talk to him I did.

He said he had a really special offer for me. A free Smartphone!  With a free line!  It would cost me absolutely nothing!  Wow!  So I said, "What's the catch?"  He didn't understand what that meant, so I explained.  "Ah." he says, "there is no catch.  Its free."  "Ah," I says, "but nothing comes for free, buddy."

He insisted it will cost me nothing, it is free. "You have been a loyal customer of Jazztel since 2011, you deserve it! Er... but you have to sign a contract that says you will stay with Jazztel for another two years."  Aha, therein lies the darn catch!

Hmmm.... OK, now last year I accepted a special offer from Jazztel that tied me in for a year.  In December, I had to move apartment (the owner was in trouble with the bank and needed to sell it urgently).  I kept the Jazztel service at my new address and even kept the same phone number, but they FINED me 95 euros.  After a little argument they agreed that I hadn't actually broken my contract and agreed to refund me.

However, as you can imagine, I don't want to have to go through that sort of nonsense again, and how do I know if I won't want to move in the next two years or change service provider?  So I said no.  Thanks, but no thanks, I don't want the darn thing.  Keep it.

So he kept saying, "But its absolutely free and its a great phone!  You can use the Internet outside of the apartment!" 

I said, "I sit on the damn Internet the whole time at home doing my work, why the hell would I want to be on the Internet when I am outside?" 

I explained that I am not like the average person these days, sitting at the beach thumbing away at my little screen getting "WhatsAppitis" with all that beauty surrounding me. (Read up on that great new affliction right here).  Its like the café that put a sign outside saying, "We have no WiFi, talk to each other."  I would rather watch the passing parade, chat to people, look at the mountain views and the waves than glare at some damn little screen.

Oh, forgot to mention, he asked me how much my current mobile service is costing me.  I said, maybe 5 euros a month for a recharge.  He couldn't believe me.  I said, I am pay as you go, and I don't go far!  I explained that I use Skype (free) and for local calls, my landline free (courtesy of Jazztel!).  Why should I pay for a mobile contract and all those darn calls?  Egads, I AM old-school aren't I?  And a cheap-skate too!

So anyway, eventually the guy caught my drift and understood why I didn't want their magnificent "free" offer.  He was a nice guy, just doing his job, so I wasn't rude (for a change) and actually enjoyed our little back and forth.  I did say that, of course, they will stop sending me text messages?  I think he agreed to that but they'll probably keep on coming. 

By the way, I just had a look at their ad on their website, and look at the guy they have promoting the offer there!  Look to the left... dodgy, or what?  LOL

So, what is the old expression, beware of Greeks bearing gifts?  Also beware of ISP's offering them too, not that they are your enemy of course, as in the old saying.  Well not so far anyhow.  And I will continue to use my semi-ancient, non-high-tech little Nokia for as long as I can.  I know, one day, like my beloved Windows XP, I will have to advance, but I am in no hurry, thank you.

Anne Sewell